


Opening Up

by atamascolily



Category: The Adventures of Sinbad (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sinbad struggles with his feelings, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 07:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12790197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/atamascolily
Summary: Remember when Rumina tortured Sinbad in "The Beast Within"? Sinbad tries not to, but some days, he can't help it. Maeve, who has her own history with the sorceress, is the one person who might actually understand what he's going through. Assuming Sinbad can open up, that is. Takes place post-Season One, but before canon Season Two begins.





	Opening Up

**Author's Note:**

> Maeve and Sinbad were my original OTP back in the day - still are, honestly - and surprisingly, I haven't written very much fic where they actually interact with each other (mostly angsty Season Two pining). So here is an opportunity to change that. 
> 
> Season One Sinbad is remarkably well-adjusted, offers excellent emotional advice most of the time, and lets go of his own childhood trauma in "The Bully" with remarkable openness. Season Two Sinbad is dark, grim, and haunted by his failures at protecting Dim-Dim, Mustapha and Maeve, but generally refuses to talk about them at all. Season One Sinbad kinda shrugs off Rumina's torture in "The Beast Within", at least on the surface, but I can't believe it didn't leave some kind of mark. This fic features Sinbad somewhere between those two canonical extremes. 
> 
> We see in the "Trickster" episode that his greatest fear is the waterspout Rumina sends after him. While some of that might deal with his childhood first love drowning, I can't help but think Rumina's treatment of him following his kidnapping played a role in this. 
> 
> Plus, I've always wanted to write hurt/comfort for this show, and Sinbad spends a lot of time canonically doing this for Maeve (at least on an emotional level). In this case, turnabout is more than fair play.

Sinbad didn't talk about it at first because there was no time to talk about it. As soon as it was over, and Rumina had vanished, and Goz had freed her other ex-lovers and began the long, laborious process of nursing them back to humanity (and sanity - it can't have been easy being trapped in a cage for years, let alone in the form of a beast), he was back aboard the ship and getting everything settled for the next voyage. Then they stumbled into more adventures, which he had to deal with (usually less traumatic than kidnapping and torture, at least on his end) because people out there need his help and he _can_ help them. And so on, and so on. As the days went by, they all began to blur together, and he began to forget, just a little. 

His body didn't forget, of course. But his mind was able to push everything that happened that day firmly into the past and keep it from coming back up to plague him. Mostly. When that didn't work, he threw himself into the persona he's so carefully cultivated - the dashing, heroic, clever captain, the Master of the Seven Seas - because that character just shrugs this sort of thing off. It's not a lie, just one aspect of a larger personality, but one he leaned on more heavily when he felt the fear, when he needed the extra support. The Master of the Seven Seas cannot be broken so easily. 

The Master of the Seven Seas can shrug off torture and move on. 

At first he didn't think he needed to talk. What is there to say? Rumina lured him into a trap, knowing he'd never knowingly sit back and let a woman drown, and kidnapped him when he jumped into the sea to rescue what turned out to be an illusion. She tortured him when seduction fails, and then released him into the jungle to play a game of cat-and-mouse with Goz, an ex-lover she'd transformed into a beast when she was through with him. But he made it through. He survived. 

Not only survived - he refused to play the game, and broke through to Goz's humanity, transforming him back to his original form in the process. In a dramatic entrance to confront Rumina, he rescued his would-be rescuers from her (causing no end of embarassment for the crew) - and so what was there left to say, anyway? He'd saved himself, he'd saved Goz, he'd saved everybody - except for that poor drowning woman, who hadn't been real anyway. What else, really, _was_ there to say? 

Besides, who could he confide in? At the time, he was still getting to know Rongar, the silent warrior who could kill with a single throw of a dagger. Although well-intentioned and open to just about anything in theory - except ghosts, for some reason - feelings were not Firouz's strong point (though he has an exceptional knowledge of the human heart gleaned from long hours on the dissection table that Sinbad really didn't want to think about).

In those early days together, he and Maeve sparred constantly with each other, prickly battles of wits and words that crackled under the surface with a fierce tension he didn't fully understand. Verbal - and sometimes literal - explosions were not uncommon between them. And it's not like she confided in him, either. Despite his deft probing, he had no idea what circumstances had forced Maeve to devote her life to seek Rumina's death. 

And then there was Dermott, Maeve's hawk, who was there with him that day in Rumina's lair. The only reason Sinbad even played Rumina's game in the first place was to save Dermott from ending up on the dinner plate. Did Maeve know what he did for her sake? Sinbad couldn't bring himself to ask - and birds didn't talk, right? - but he wondered all the same. There are ways of communicating without words, and he's seen Maeve and Dermott do it (and then there was that time when Dermott himself spoke in Sinbad's mind, warning of evil and danger). But he didn't know then what he knew now. And anyway, how did you talk to a hawk, even one that's clearly no ordinary bird, without feeling foolish? Especially about something personal like this. 

The closest he came was with Doubar one evening not long after it happened. They stood together at the tiller - Doubar steering - looking up at the night stars blazing clear and bright over the open ocean, when Doubar broke the long, companionable silence that stretched out between them.

"I was so worried about you, little brother. When Maeve first told me what had happened, I didn't believe her. And then when we found the proof that she was right, that you'd be captured by that witch - "

"At ease, Doubar." Sinbad wrapped an arm around his brother's burly shoulder. "It's all right. It's all right. We all got out just fine." 

"She didn't hurt you, did she?" 

"She certainly tried," he replied, careful to keep his tone light and easy. No sense in spoiling the mood. "Good thing I'm pretty durable." 

"Aye, brother, that you are." After that, things were quiet until Doubar said "You know you can always talk to me about anything, Sinbad. You don't have to prove anything with me." 

He squeezed Doubar's shoulder affectionately, dodging the implied question. "Fortunately, I don't have anything to prove right now - I know better than to challenge you to a drinking bout!" It wasn't _quite_ true - he could beat Doubar if he really wanted to; he just usually didn't want to - but it was true enough. 

Doubar laughed, and let him change the subject. He didn't bring it up again, for which Sinbad was grateful. He loved his brother - he truly did - but in this case, Doubar's concern for him was misplaced. He was all right. He'd made it through. He didn't need anything else. 

Even when he saw Rumina again, in the City of Mists, he didn't let himself feel the fear - he was so jacked up on adrenaline, he couldn't feel anything else but the thrill of walking on the edge between life and death. He willingly surrendered himself to her to save a young girl's life, condemning himself to his worst nightmare in hopes of buying some time to think of a better plan. 

And it worked. He got out alive (again) and his crew with him. Rumina hadn't taken him back to her lair, hadn't tortured him again, hadn't taken his will away from him and turned him into her mindless slave. Hadn't seduced him like she promised to. 

Heaven knows, Rumina was a delightfully sexy woman, and he certainly found her attractive. But he wasn't interested in sleeping with her. Not like that. Definitely not like that. Rumina didn't really believe in consent, or that other people's pain (or pleasure) mattered. Rumina didn't believe in anything that got in her way and things that got in Rumina's way tended to disappear - except for Sinbad (so far). 

Prince Casib of Baghdad had said he'd rather marry a cobra than sleep with Rumina, and while Prince Casib had been a spoiled, selfish brat until fairly recently, Sinbad was inclined to agree with him on this one. Any relationship with Rumina would not end well for Sinbad. Period. 

The problem was, Rumina was still out there. And she wasn't done with him. He killed her father, he foiled her plans time and time again, and it changed nothing. She was determined for him to surrender, and he was just as determined not to give her the satisfaction. 

It wasn't like he sought her out, either. But he didn't let himself flinch when she appeared, either. He didn't let her see how much she succeeded at hurting him. He even kissed her, like a gentleman (okay, maybe a gentleman adventurer), because that seemed to work as a distraction. That's all it was, despite Maeve's insistence to the contrary (maybe she's jealous? She's totally jealous). It was just a way to win. That was it. That was all. 

But he wasn't done with Rumina. She'd hurt too many innocent people, and shown no signs of remorse. She could not be allowed to remain at large. He had been able to stop her now and again, winning the battles - but not the war. Even the most recent conflict with the Gryphon's Egg ended in stalemate because Maeve said (and Sinbad has learned to trust Maeve on this subject) that Rumina somehow managed to weasel away again. They'd destroyed her lair and forced her to retreat again, but she would return to fight them another day, on terms more favorable to her. 

_Rumina always gets away in the end. Until she doesn't, there will always be another battle. Another opportunity to fail._

So far, he hadn't won yet. But he hadn't lost outright, either. 

In Basra, she shrunk him down and trapped him in a vase. She stole his form and walked openly through the streets of Basra, using his name and face to fan the flames of war, sending his crew to the Savage Sultan's dungeons. Fortunately, Sinbad managed to fix what he could of the situation - again, using a kiss as a distraction. 

He didn't kill Rumina when he and she both thought her helpless on the trickster spirit Reynard's island. Now _that_ took character. Maeve hadn't kill Rumina either, and she regretted it after the fact, moping for weeks afterwards and studying battle magic that punched fiery holes in both sets of sails two days in a row. 

Privately, though, Sinbad thought it was a good thing that Maeve hadn't killed Rumina. _Maeve can do anything she puts her mind to, but on some level, she still doesn't think she can win against Rumina in a contest of magic. Until that changes, she's only setting herself up for failure. Beating Rumina physically, without magic, wouldn't help her with the real battle - inside herself._

He's not sure what happened between the two, except that Dermott was somehow involved, and it didn't end well for Maeve. There's got to be some way to end Rumina's reign of terror that doesn't involve Maeve sacrificing her integrity - as she would have if she'd killed Rumina in an unfair fight. 

He wished Maeve would tell him more about her past. It was hard to help if she chose not to confide in him. 

Though given what Dim-Dim said to him when her first met Maeve - not to mention how prickly and defensive she was back - he's lucky they've grown this close, to a degree he'd never thought possible when they first met back on the beach on the Isle of Dawn. "The wounds in her heart are as deep as the wounds in yours," Dim-Dim had said at the time. 

_Did she lose family, friends to Rumina? Is that's what's driving her now?_

Well, wasn't like he confided much in her, either. He never told her about Leah or his parents or the rainbow bracelets or anything else like that... Why would he tell her about Rumina's torture when she'd probably get all smug and cocky and tell him he deserved it. That he was an arrogant bastard and it was good for him to get taken down a peg or too now and then. After all, Doubar got tortured by Omar of Basra - all a misunderstanding, and all Rumina's fault - and he doesn't complain about it. Why should Sinbad be any different? 

Or maybe she wouldn't say that. But that's what he fears, and it's hard to make the words come out when he imagines that exchange in his mind. 

He found that he preferred movement and motion - something, anything to occupy his mind and his hands - rather than remember his time as Rumina's prisoner. On the best days - standing at the tiller for hours on a clear day without a cloud in sight, with a full, steady wind in the sails - he had the hypnotic rhythmn of the water, and the endless blue expanse of sea and sky, while the crew worked harmoniously around him. In those moment, he doesn't have a care in the world. It doesn't last forever - nothing lasts forever - but it's glorious while it does. 

Nights were a different story, though. It didn't happen every night, but there were some where he's stretched out naked and bleeding on the rack again, while Rumina looms over him, and he's trying to keep his face calm and relaxed and not show any of the pain he feels on his face, but it hurts too much and he's screaming, screaming - 

And he woke, sweating and gasping, alone in his own cabin on the _Nomad_. There was no one to hear him cry out. No reason to cry out, anyway. It was just a dream, after all. Just a dream... 

But every time it happened, he shook for hours in the darkness of his cabin until the dawn came, and he didn't sleep well for several days afterward.

***

This time, when he woke, something was different. He stumbled out of his bunk, pulled his shirt over his head, and was out the cabin door heading for the deck before his mind registered what was happening. Little fragments of memory exploded like one of Firouz's experiments and he wanted the open sky above his head before he, too, burst. 

Ali was on night watch, and Jondal was on the tiller, while the rest of the crew slept below deck - the seas were calm enough, and they were far from any obstacles, that it was safe enough to do only have two men on the night watch. He waved away their curious stares at their captain's unexpected appearance and leaned against the foremast, staring up at the stars. Constant. Reliable. Steady. The moon was setting in the west, the pale light reflecting in the water. No need for torches now. 

He heard the boards behind him creak. You couldn't sneak up on him so easily, even in the darkness, but stealth was unlikely to be her intention. Maeve was perfectly capable of subtlety when the situation called for it, but it wasn't her preferred approach. 

He wasn't sure how he knew it was her, but he wasn't surprised to see her. It seemed so - so - _right_ somehow. 

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" she said, stepping out of the shadows and into his field of vision. She leaned against the mast beside him, craning her neck up to follow his gaze. "Dim-Dim always said the stars were the most beautiful of all of creation, and the most noble study a magician could make." A pause. "I miss him."

"Me, too." 

Something changes with that admission, releasing tension he didn't even know was there until it was gone. "Maeve, I never thanked you for coming after me when Rumina kidnapped me, back when you first joined the crew. You led everybody right to where I was." 

He'd meant it as a compliment, but as usual, he'd managed to say the wrong thing despite his best intentions. Maeve stiffened. "Not that it did much good. Rumina's servants captured us right away." 

"But you barely knew me then. And you still wanted to save me from her. That's gotta count for something, right?" 

A shrug. A slight defrosting of tension. "I wouldn't leave my worst enemy to Rumina." 

It wasn't helpful to point out that Rumina _was_ her worst enemy, or that there were plenty of evil folk they'd encountered for whom torture by Rumina would be justice, plain and simple. So he didn't. "I'm glad I'm not your enemy, Maeve." 

She looked over at him, trying to determine whether he was serious. Whatever mental calculations she made must have been in his favor because her sincerity matched his when she finally spoke. "She enjoys breaking peoples' spirits. I'm glad you didn't suffer that." 

"On the outside, maybe. I still have dreams about my time in her dungeon, though."

"Is that why you're out here tonight?" 

He nodded. "A nightmare. Didn't feel like sleeping after that." 

She reached over and took his hand. "I'm sorry," she said. A pause, as if she were considering something important. She let it all out in a rush of breath. "Sometimes I have nightmares, too." 

It was Sinbad's gift - or curse - that he couldn't focus on his own pain when someone else was in distress. "Did she torture you, Maeve?" 

"Not... physically so much. I did try to kill her - with a sword, since I didn't know how to use magic at that point. She stopped me, and it hurt. A lot. And then she.... decided to find a different way to hurt me. She set a curse that will only break with her death. A curse I have to break." 

A curse that somehow involved Dermott. A quest that had taken her all the way to Master Dim-Dim's isle to learn magic. He didn't have the energy to try and piece it all together right now.

"What do you dream about?" Maeve continued. "Kissing Rumina? That'd give me nightmares, too." 

He thought it was supposed to be a joke, so he laughed. She glared at him. Oops. Wrong answer, apparently. "Are you jealous?" 

"I just don't understand how you could be attracted to someone so... so... morally vacuous." 

"It's a defense mechanism, mostly. She's a lot more powerful than I am - but for some reason she likes me and therefore is less willing to kill me. I take advantage of that when I can. I _am_ a good kisser, though." 

She rolled her eyes. The memory of the kiss they'd exchanged after the Vorgon's defeat hung in the air between them, but he wasn't going to bring it up if she wasn't and she didn't. 

"Maeve, I just - I do what I have to do to stay alive, okay? And help everybody else out, too." He hadn't meant for there to be a slight catch in his voice at the end, but it was there, and he wondered if she heard it. 

She did. She frowned slightly, lips pursed together, clearly unsettled by the unexpected emotion leaking out. "Sinbad. What happened when she kidnapped you?" 

So he told her. She listened, holding his hand the entire time. For once, she didn't say anything. By the end of it, he was crying, silent tears trickling down his cheeks as the pent-up emotions came out with the story he hadn't let himself give voice to until now. When it was done, they sat together on the Nomad's deck in silence until the moon set, the stars faded, and the first glimpse of light touched the edge of the horizon. 

Maeve let go of his hand and rose to her feet. He thought she was going to leave but instead she hugged him, her body warm and comforting against his. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear as he clung to her like a lifeline, overwhelmed once more by the emotions flooding him with this gesture of compassion. They had each suffered at Rumina's hands, and the suffering allowed them to understand each other without pity. 

Below deck, they heard Doubar stomping around, bellowing something about breakfast. 

And just like that, the moment was broken. She slipped away. He didn't even see her go. He didn't know if Ali and Jondal had seen anything that had passed between them, didn't care if they had. Bathed in the light of the new day, he stared out at the sea, knowing that something important had happened, even if he lacked the words to describe it to anyone. His face was dry and his voice, when he finally spoke again to the rest of the crew, was steady. 

But Maeve knew. Whatever it was that had happened, they'd shared it together. 

What had Dim-Dim said? _"The wounds in her heart are as deep as the wounds in yours._ " Sinbad had to smile at this. Once again, he'd been wrong to doubt his old master. And that was before he'd ended up as Rumina's plaything, too... 

From that night on, nothing was different, at least on the surface. Maeve gave no sign that their night-time rendezvous had ever happened, treated him no differently than she had before. 

Yet he knew on some important level that everything had changed. That night, for the first time he could remember in a long time, there were no dreams.


End file.
